Here, for your enjoyment, are the things that tend to go through my mind when I look at Facebook and discover than yet another friend of mine has gotten engaged:
In other news, I cut my fingernails today. This is a shame, as I was planning to grow them out to an impressive length and then paint them red to achieve a truly stunning effect. Someday…
I also bought a broom, mop, and toilet brush today. My house is cleaner than ever.